Wednesday, May 21, 2008

An Open Letter


I didn't used to be this angry, this skeptical, this cantankerous. There was a time before I got sick where I was trusting, naive, shy, and innocent.

Then I had my first breakdown and over time I got very bitter. As the argument goes, underneath every cynic there is a romantic in disguise. And so it is that I am one as well.

I won't excuse my behavior. I won't excuse my anger. I won't excuse my bad qualities. I'll own up to them.

But underneath it all I really do care deeply. My illness keeps me miserable, but I don't care to romanticize it away as I did when I was in my angst-ridden teens.

It would certainly be nice to relax once in a while. It would be nice to take something, anything at face value. And maybe with time I'll reach that state.

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