Friday, July 31, 2009

My Economic Stimulus Proposal

I believe that the best way to rid ourselves of this recession and get the economy going again is very simple. It is so simple that it can be summarized in one word and one word alone: pornography.

Just think about it. Who here has not been the target of some organization or individual trying to sell them pornography? Who here has not been asked to buy both pornography and to have their pen!s size increased dramatically in this process, even if they weren't born with that appendage? So, as you can see, the framework is already in place and now we must move to the implementation stage. This is where you can help. Increasing pornography's scope and scale is a monumental task facing us and we can't do it alone. Contact your Senator and Congressperson today to urge them to vote for the Pornography option.

The pornography lobby is powerful, but I know if we apply enough pressure, we will be on our way to a new tomorrow and a new American prosperity.


Suzan said...

And how exactly are we to accomplish this, comrade?

As I'm willing to give almost anything a try by now.

Porno comrade in arms,


Increasing pornography's scope and scale is a monumental task facing us and we can't do it alone.

Comrade Kevin said...


Thank you for asking. Well, if you will refer to my scale model here and the map on the wall, you will see the tentative plans for full scale invasion.

In short, we will use the element of surprise and launch a coordinated spam attack by both bots and humans, one that will force the wealthy to purchase individual porn plans or IPP as we have dubbed them here in Porn Headquarters.

jadedj said...

They can do that? The penis thing? To hell with economics...what is their email address? It's not for me, mind you.

Gail said...

Hi Kevin-

Where do I sign up? And I can't believe no one thought of this before now.

Porn rocks

Tracie the Red said...

Don't forget...the sex industry includes prostitution. Make that legal nationwide and make it like any other job, with standards of service and health care for the sex workers, etc.

Hey, it's legal in a lot of other nations, like Germany. No reason it can't be legal here.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Ok, look. I'm all for sex and stumulus, but dude, I'm not going to pay for pornography. There's free shit everywhere, and some of it's even good.

Just sayin'.

Comrade Kevin said...

Freida Bee,

Shhh! You're wrecking my plans!