This has, to put it lightly, been one of the worst weeks of my life. I'm going to try to see if I can get any sleep at all tonight and then make a final decision on Monday.
I've come to the conclusion that I simply may not able to be tolerate total washout (removal of all medications) and be unable to complete the first protocol. Have no fear. There is another trial in which I can participate---it'd be taking a medication by pill form for eight weeks. Half the time will be placebo and half the time will be active agent. I mean to do this after the first protocol for which I was scheduled, meaning my time here will probably be reduced by two months if I determine that I simply can't go through the ketamine trial.
Thanks to all who have expressed concern.