Some people will simply not listen. What gets me about certain activists is that they're so consumed with finding example after example of the Evils of Patriarchy/Racism/Oppression/Insert Social Disease that they will mistake allies for enemies. This is the true problem with anyone who chooses to keep such a narrow focus on an all-consuming crusade---in their zealousness to delight in finding and rooting out one more example of "the problem", they completely fail to really listen, build consensus, and find the solution. Imagine what we could accomplish if we came to the table with our minds open and our fangs not bared. Imagine if we sought to really resolve social issues---believing that things could really change and that we were not locked into some vast existential crisis with no resolution point ever.
Same old situation. After a while this sort of never-ending stalemate built from mutual distrust and fruitless paranoia gets tedious. So it is that I almost didn't want to respond to this same thing again because it's the same damn thing, over and over and over and over again. But I will say yet again---if one really listens, there's no telling what good can be accomplished.