Last night my Seroquel dosage was increased to 500 mg. For some reason, with time the sedative effect of Seroquel begins to subside, necessitating an ever-increasing dose. I just don't want to be like a man I met in a group therapy session who had the same issue I did and got up to taking 3000 mg of Seroquel a day. To be taken off of it, he had to be hospitalized for a minimum of a month. I suppose most of my fear stems from the fact that I know now that I am utterly unable to sleep at all without some kind of sedative. With enough problems on my plate already, it is not a comforting notion to add "insominac" onto all the other ailments with which I struggle.
Today is the first day I have taken Parnate, the MAOI inhibitor. I am looking forward to the positive effects of it because I've been in a low-grade depression now for a couple weeks. This has washed over onto this blog and made me quite a misanthrope and a sourpuss. If state of minds like these were infrequent then I'd be more tolerant of them, but bipolar is an illness with constant ebbs and flows. Recovery is a process, not a destination. Medication can control the flare ups somewhat, but at this point all they do is cap off the peaks and valleys--the highest highes and the lowest lows. I might have a ceiling for how far up I can go or a floor preventing me from falling ever downward and I'm glad I have these things, but I beg to ask for more.
My dose of Parnate will begin slowly. 10 mg today, then another 10 mg in three to five days. Within two to two-and-a-half weeks I'll be on 40 mg, which is the target dosage. I've taken my first dose today and I'm already starting to feel more hopeful. This is likely a result of the placebo effect, because nothing would work this quickly. It'll be seven to fourteen days before the dose I'm on reaches maximum efficacy, but I'll try not to second-guess a good mood.
5 comments:
Hi Kevin-
yes, a good mood is always good, good indeed. "Thank you" for your comment on my blog. This is a very difficult time.
Love Gail'
peace.....
I can tell you have been a little touchy and grumpy. Even so, I still read you ;P
Hang in there Kevin!
Hello - I love it when you're grumpy. You're going to make a great old fart some day.
Yeah, don't be too hard on your grumpy self, you had reasons. Hell we all had reasons, and you weren't alone in your grumpiness. In the days leading up to the Inauguration I was so grumpy I couldn't stand to be in the same room with myself. If I couldn't sleep on top of that I'd be Godzilla.
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