It's Just a Part of Life

Dear Friends and friends alike,

I have some news to share with all of you.

I am dying.

Some of you who know me in other incarnations know that I have bipolar. For the past three months, I have not been eating well. I have lost thirty pounds in three weeks time. I have been in the middle of a manic stage, which as some may understand well, is wonderful for your productivity, but often causes irreversible brain damage in the process. It feels like like the best roller coaster ride in the world, until you realize you can't get off the ride because someone has strapped you in and you cannot simply exit and walk away.

When I went to my doctor last Wednesday, he manipulated my medication in such a way as to bring me out of my manic state. But he also mentioned that, in his words, "this is unlike any manic episode I have ever seen."

In times such as these I think about my Christian faith and I particularly remember the verse in David's Psalms, and in the original King James'.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the
shadow of death

I will fear no evil
For thou art with me
Thy rod and thy staff
they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house
of the Lord for ever.

I ask for your prayers, selfishly, for me. And selfishly, I hope to know something definite as to what is wrong with me from my doctors.

And I love you all.