A Personal Update

I appreciate the prayers, the well-wishes, and the manner of support I have received across the interwebs.

My bipolar has been noted before and my manic stage is subsiding. However, my doctors are running additional tests and I will not know anything definite until Wednesday.

As I have only Medicaid, my primary care physician, whom I have seen for nearly ten years, understands that getting the quality of care I need will require him pulling strings to work within the system itself. Indeed, I could have gone to the local charity hospital, but as many of you may know, the quality of care at any non-profit hospital is less than sub-standard.

So let it be known that they are checking for several things.

Three big things.

1) HIV
2) Rectal Cancer
3) HPV/herpes

I do not necessarily have any of these three and I will not know until the results of the tests come back on Wednesday of next week. They are having to run some very expensive, and very involved tests to get to the bottom of what I have.

Needless to say, when I posted that I was dying, I was not speaking in ways that could seem exaggerated or hyperbolic. I understand mania has a tendency to produce grandiosity and such things, but I was really rather serious.

But if by dying I mean I have a chronic illness that will eventually, slowly, over time, kill me in the end, then that is what I mean.

I pray. I take care of myself. And I try not to let other people walk over me who do not understand and would use information against me.

Go in peace, all of you.

Amen.