Tuesday, November 27, 2012


I wrote this when I was 22. Strangely enough, I still think it has merit.


sound over of conversation lips smacking against cigarette filters giggles rustling of plastic bags full of pills childish needless flinty flicks of lighters all culminating in squeals of girls who saunter up to the bathroom with their lovers to dose to swallow the necessary amount of water in the cheap plastic cups and upon doing so collapse onto sofas together in a heap of hair and rumpled clothing

then fade in on where I’m sitting alone 

she has witch tits emily and jessica say they’ve been inseparable as long as I’ve been a part of this group of friends two years or more months or more

I say what do you mean by that? they say well they’re all pointy and you know like cone shaped and I say ewww gross

the lead girl the one who has been in charge of distributing the beans and who will later implore me to rub her head once the drugs kick in is named Maggie

the woman in question is a short order cook at the local bar and grille and wears jeans that smell of the residue of the trade hot grease warm toast fried anything so Maggie is saying that 

I’m glad we’re all together tonight at my place and make yourself at home  though I really don’t know anyone don’t really know why I’ve even here tonight just that I didn’t have much else to do on a Friday night I’m self-conscious about most things about myself including the black hair around my nipples and my arms and my knuckles that I used to shave away out of shame and now just let grow to spite my mother when she visits

when I was in high school she’d often say i don’t know why someone so pretty would ever leave the house looking so ugly not that I was ever the epitome of beautiful even when I tried to be fluffy and dainty I’m rough as a board and as plain as one but I was never content to complete bull-dyke out and buzz my head and wear some hideously lopsided visor

camera pulls out centering on the black light meant to accentuate the drug being taken the lights dimmed now the clock nearly ten o’clock in the evening the stale stench of charred tobacco wafting in now and then as it is perfectly still night with no wind 

camera pulls overhead to me sitting alone solitary on the couch I dosed nearly an hour ago and I can’t say I know exactly what these green pills contain other than I manage to catch the strains of other peoples’ conversations as though they were my own thoughts

for instance the pair next to me is currently vying for the title of world’s most annoying lesbian couple loud and all over each other and cooing to each other about promises made of ultimate fidelity 

you remember hun that when we get older we’re going to china to adopt a baby one of the couple the 
brunette one with eyes like a doe dislodges obviously intoxicated slinks across the floor and asks me abruptly to guess one of her secrets 

your secrets? I ask perplexed 

yes, my secrets sweetie she slurs and brushes a finger against one of my lips 

well I say thinking I bet that you almost died when you were a child and instead of the intended or expected reaction to something that outlandish she grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me how did you know that? who told you that? I’ve never told anyone that before tell me what powers you possess

and quickly her partner drags her away from the issue with a deep kiss and everyone goes back to what they were doing so I resume staring at the ceiling the ceiling is a high a frame that reminds me of the small baptist church mom dragged me along to when I was a little girl I would lie in her lap and lie across one of the uncomfortable unpadded hard wooden pews and stare at the majesty of the rough pine planks that seemed to tower towards heaven while at the same time smarting from the scabs and scraps that inevitably crisscrossed both knees as a result of a Saturday spent playing outside in the woods 

camera focuses squarely on the center of the room Maggie claims that one of the group must be rescued Maggie is always rescuing someone usually it’s whomever she wants to sleep with but you don’t ask questions of Maggie this is Maggie’s place and her drugs and her food that she has thoughtfully prepared for the occasion

Technically this is her grandfather’s place who few of us has ever seen he is apparently an eccentric old reclusive transvestite who just wants to be left alone he scarcely leaves his bedroom and his only condition with Maggie is that she not left guys sleep over this is hardly a problem 

I hear the loud rumbling of Maggie’s car departing the car has a broken muffler that she refuses to get fixed so as a result it is about as subtle upon entrance as she is 

multiple camera shots of women leading women hand by hand into bedrooms it is the time of night where the true meaning of this party becomes evident there was a time I once defended Maggie 
you know she’s bouncy they’d say and I like a fool would deny it time and time again 

you wanted to trust her you want to trust Maggie everyone’s slightly in love with her and so I am I suppose once this girl I barely knew pretty much threw herself upon Maggie deep down inside I’m sure the snake-charmer does have a heart so she did take the opportunity to remove her bra one handed 

I haven’t lost my touch Maggie said satisfied but then quickly lost interest and fell asleep next to the poor girl but at this moment camera zooms towards door the aforementioned dream-goddess enters with a girl around her waist Maggie surely does like the young ones this one can’t be more than seventeen at best and makes herself at home in front of the big screen television

flips on mtv I just ate another bean on the way over Maggie says so what do you want me to do about it?

rub my head she says I thought that’s what you got her for I say gesticulating towards the tiny body with eyeballs now glued to the screen 

nah she’s not my type she bores me so who is your type I ask skeptically well, maybe you tonight she says and without thinking I take her hand and walk into the bedroom with her the teen sensation scarcely notices we’ve left.

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