Thursday, February 05, 2009

Because I Couldn't Think of Anything Else

I'm adjusting to medication today so this will have to suffice for an actual entry. Long-time readers will note that I haven't done a movie review in a while, and the reason why is the same. Yesterday I began to experience a decrease in appetite (which is one of the good side effects) and an increased sensitivity to cold (one of the bad side effects). My general agony, guilt, shame, and self-defeating thoughts have been muted. They are still there, but the intensity of pain has lessened, which is wonderful. No medication has ever completely eliminated them so perhaps the best I can hope for is a reduction in symptoms.

I feel like I owe someone an apology.

Listen to the music instead.


Gail said...

Hi Kevin-
Over time we all settle in to our own "abnormal-normal"....I, like you, adjust and accept my reality.
Some times, I have found, when there are no "bells and whistles" and I am left with - "it is what it is", oddly, I feel the most powerless at that time until I redefine myself to the "what is". Did I make any sense? eesh! :-)

Love Gail

PENolan said...

My staff always says that the purpose of the meds is to coat the feelings so that you're not completely hiding under the covers in a fetal position. Then you can deal with said feelings.