The Truth

Dear Friends,

I face about three months of slow recovery from my latest manic episode.

The only way to treat my illness is with massive doses of drugs that sedate me to the point of incoherence. I'm aware that many of my entries have been borderline incoherent and not nearly as precise as they need to be. This is regrettable, but until my body gets used to the medication, I may need to keep my entries short and to the point.

Psychiatry is an art form, not an exact science, and it will be until a cure for bipolar disorder is discovered. My moods the past couple days have been cycling back and forth. The only way to get myself level is to take psychotropic medications that inadvertently send me into mixed states, where my moods shift wildly between depression and stability on an hourly basis. This is going to be my lot in life for the next several weeks, unfortunately.

To spare you the confusion and me the frustration, I am not going to try to reach out to fellow bloggers or leave comments on blogs. I'll do what I can to keep myself moving forward. This is my lot in life and my cross to bear, and though I dislike what I'm going through, I don't have much choice in the matter.

Perhaps someday they'll come up with a better way to treat my chronic condition, but until that point I am going to have to take it easy and rest up thoroughly.

I promised to share the details of my latest hospitalization, but I'm not emotionally strong enough to dredge up the blow by blow. I have some serious limitations right now and though I rail against my lot in life, being upset about my condition won't do much good except keep me upset.