Sunday, October 21, 2007

Violation of Trust

Sexual Misconduct in K-12

Stories like this are becoming more and more frequent in the news these days. One wonders if these incidents have always been so prevalent, or today's instant information society has removed the stigma of reporting such things openly. Perhaps it's a product of the increasingly sexualized times in which we live. I'm skeptical, though. This has probably existed for years.

Seemingly everyone I talk to has a personal anecdote to share regarding this topic. As the article points out, it may not be an exaggeration to say that there's an offender in ever district. When I was in grad school, this topic came up in conversation with four young Freshman giggling girls, who quite casually remarked that in their high school a female teacher routinely seduced male students.

I myself can recall one such event from my own life quite clearly. When I was in middle school, allegations of sexual misconduct from ten years in the past surfaced regarding the male choir teacher of the middle school I attended. This was years before I had developed anything resembling gaydar, and my interactions with the man were minimal, at best. Still, I do remember he always gave off a particularly unsettling vibe that I characterized at the time as just eccentricity. Surely enough, the allegations proved true along and came complete with a particularly creepy mugshot of him that surfaced on the five o'clock news. He was gone, never to return. No one breathed a word about him ever again and it was as if a ghost had previously graced the choir room.

My mother has a role of some degree of authority in her school district, and she mentioned recently, rather casually that a female teacher who taught at the alternative school was recently fired for sleeping with a female student. This incident, however, will receive no press and will be quietly brushed under the rug. This is what this article talks about in some detail. Only when criminal prosecution is a necessary step do such things ever reach the attention of the general public.

The sort of power that authority figures have over our youth is pretty powerful. It's a product of the paternalistic society in which we live. Several of my college professors manipulated it rather skillfully to ensnare many a generation of sycophantic lovers. However, the difference between that and K-12 is that these students were of legal age. Trust is the issue at hand here.

I will resist the temptation to rush to judgment and point fingers at the usual culprits of morality, self-restraint, and irresponsibility. Sure, all these things are factors, but I'd rather cite the basic foundation by which our society is founded--the Patriarchal system which places supreme authority in the hands of a dominant male or dominant authority figure. Here in the conservative south, this is an especially relevant and potent mindset.

I can think of any number of young women with Daddy complexes who married at a very early age, seeking a father figure. I can also think of so many young women who crave validation and the need to be considered sophisticated by an older male. They wish to show off as how mature they are, or rather how mature they THINK they are. That's part of adolescence. The need to be taken seriously. The need to not been seen as a child.

Lest I seem limiting, some of the events I've cited concern woman for male or woman for woman sexual misconduct, too, so clearly this isn't simply a purely masculine construct. It must be the link between authority and sexuality that is to blame, which we give winking treatment and almost tacitly encourage, but then get utterly outraged when a few cross the line. We, in so many ways, have transformed many taboo subjects into metaphorical cock-teases. Don't engage in violence, ever, ever, ever, but look how gorgeous and attractive we can make it on the movie screen. Sex is shameful, but look at our model stripped down to a minimal amount of clothing, and make sure to buy whatever it is he or she is hawking.

I overheard two women talking around this time last year.

One said, I can't understand why anyone would want to shop on the day after Thanksgiving.

Another replied, I know! So what time are we leaving?


The line between fantasy and reality is a far finer thing then many of us like to admit. Indeed, it gets us all in trouble from time to time as I'm sure most of us have, in Jimmy Carter fashion, lusted in our hearts.

I certainly had foolish crushes on my teachers. That's one of those cultural motifs that has crept into songs, plays, and literature. Thankfully, I was never presented with any opportunity to consummate these desires. Had I been seduced by a teacher, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have thought twice.

3 comments:

joshhill1021 said...

That was an interesting post, CK. I had seen that article a few days ago and had similar thoughts to you, but never really posted on them. There is also an interesting point here though, there is a low number of men who are elementary school teachers and if you express that kind of interest it is assumed, at times, that you must be a pedophileor gay or both. I know I have had people give me weird looks or question why on earth I would want to work with young children. There seems to be some kind of accusation being made when I am asked. And when these allegations come to the surface it doesn't help those of us who really are teachers because we want to help our youth and happen to be male.

Fran said...

What a provocative post. I must say I can only echo what BR says, as he is actually a teacher of young children and a man. What he must have to endure... I would be so grateful for my young kids to have a positive male teacher.

The double standard gets my goat a lot. I have my own issues from things that happened to me as a kid, which one day I will write about. Thank God, I have had a lot of healing and love, great support.

However it gives me some insights, for good or ill.

Women, such as teachers, acting sexually boys of any age, I don't care if they are 17- is wrong. By the same token it is equally wrong if the woman acts out with a girl!

And of course, men acting out with boys- set off the alarms and the same with girls.

I once dated a guy who had serious issues because of something between him and a teacher when he was about 14. At the time it seemed "cool". At age 50, he was screwed up due to that and other inappropriate behavior with older women for years.

Given my own experiences I understood some of what was going on, but he was beyond my help.

It is sad. As usual, our puritanical screwed up society and its crazy view about sex is... well, it is fucked up.

kimono hime said...

"I can think of any number of young women with Daddy complexes who married at a very early age, seeking a father figure."

Yeah, that would be me. I love my dad, I really do, but being raised by an emotionally distant man kinda drives a girl (3 girls, actually) to do stupid things. One sister married a man who later left her for a skinny young thing, another will likely never marry, and I married a man 31 years my senior.

As a single mother, I was glad to see my daughter bond well with the two male teachers she had in grade school. These are men I've spent a lot of time with and seen how they interact with not only their students, but their own children. I'm grateful they were available to help my girl when she needed it. We need more male teachers like that.