No Show Tonight

A song written and recorded by the long-forgotten Phoebe Snow. The lyrics are clever, so they're enclosed below.
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There'll be no show tonight and no, no
The music won't sound right
The audience is being impolite
And I can't act tonight, don't make me
And I can't act tonight

I guess I missed my cue
When he said we were through
He walked up the stage with some ingenue
And all I can act is blue, I really mean it
No, no stand in will do

Take back your Oscar
Your horseshoe made of flowers
You'll find me down at the local pool hall
Tying up the phone for hours

Who could have guessed how
He'd rewrite the script for me
I might be Sarah Heartburn
But I can't cover up this jealousy
And I can't cover up this jealousy

Let me fly again soon
And give back my toy balloon
He's got me grounded in my dressing room
Well that man's got me grounded in my dressing room

There'll be no show tonight, no, no
The music won't sound right
The audience is being impolite
And I can't act tonight, don't make me yeah
I can't act tonight, and I can't act

I can't be Sarah Heartburn
I can't be Sarah Heartburn
No, no, no, oh