Thursday, July 29, 2010

Depression Update

A few weeks back I mentioned that I had entered a period of depression. With an increased dosage of Lithium, it subsided temporarily. Unfortunately, it has now returned again. Sometimes depressed episodes come in waves. As I think I said before, it would be wonderful if I or any psychiatrist knew precisely what causes an episode to begin or conclude. My consternation is extreme, increased exponentially by just how impotent I am to heal myself.

What I've been recently is thoroughly irritated. My patience is worn threadbare and I find myself growing easily irritated at little things. Screaming profanity at my computer when I have problems with writing something is usually the first sign I have arrived at this stage. It tends to severely frighten those around me a little, since my personality is usually nothing like this. I never wish to upset anyone, but that discomfort's got to go somewhere, I suppose.

I'll keep everyone updated, should things worsen or improve, but right now I'm tremendously discouraged.


Gail said...


I m SO sorry you are struggling and discouraged. I understand as I continue to meet this recent MS setback and healing challenge. I too, angrily realize how hard it is to heal myself.

Love to you
Gail, peace, hope and healing.....

PENolan said...

At least you've been depressed enough to know this is just another episode and it will end. It took me over 14 years to understand the triggers - but now that I understand, I barely even get depressed anymore. Discouraged? Yes
Irritated? Yes.
Fucking Bitchy? Certainly, but not Depressed.

You'll get there too. It just takes as long as it takes.