Comrade Kevin is ill today. This means you will be having a substitute. I want you all to be on your best behavior for the substitute.
(Substitute enters room)
Comrade Kevin left a note for you all in which he attributes his illness to the end result of having quit smoking, again. For the seventeenth time, at least. He says that for those of you with particularly vivid imaginations, picture if you will chunks of mucus and general congestion-like substances escaping the sinus cavity by running down the back of the throat. It creates nausea and general feelings of unease.
I want you all to know that Comrade Kevin has every intent of being back tomorrow. Now, please fill out the worksheets thoughtfully provided for you. If you finish early, you can talk to your neighbor, but please keep it down.
Comrade Kevin will make every attempt to be at Blue Gal's salon tonight.