Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Voyeur Mafioso, Part 6

Part 5 here.

There’s always work available. Like the taxi driver Travis Bickell, I have nothing resembling a life or a family, and I’m on the clock almost every day, though I am busier in the middle of the day. Customers leave frequent comments about which sets they enjoy the most and what they hope to see from us in the future. These are taken seriously, because we pride ourselves on good customer service. For security purposes, we only conduct a one-way exchange with those who’ve signed up. They make requests, but we can’t respond or provide feedback and apologize for it.

If someone were to ever ask me about the tricks of the trade, I’d remark that there really aren’t any. Intuition and practice are far more valuable. What is high-risk can be high-reward very quickly. The most daring among us show faces and identifying features with their camera work, which only courts disaster. But that’s my opinion. I often cover my ass by shooting my videos from the neck down. Customers complain, but they get 95% of what they want. I’m not going to risk a lawsuit or time in court. I have much more to lose than they.

At times I fancy myself something of an unconventional auteur. The only difference is that my actresses aren’t aware they’re on stage and haven’t read their lines beforehand. After a hard day’s work, lines of a different sort begin to blur, the ones between reality and fantasy. Sometimes I even think someone’s filming me. The one liability to this job is that it shatters specific distinctions and perceptions that are normally in place to preserve our sanity. I can relate, on one level, to the celebrities who get hassled by paparazzi, always in front of a camera, with tabloid hunters even rooting around in their garbage.

If this is punishment for my crimes, I’ll take it. I’m not amoral or uncaring. Most of my subjects will never know that their images are on film. Why would they think otherwise? They’re usually too engrossed in over-analyzing their perceived physical flaws and perhaps even more secretly delighting in their assets. This is what makes my job easier than it could be. I’ve never seriously thought about squealing to the cops or threatening to quit.

I’ve been at this long enough that I take certain precautions I never did before. If I enter a restaurant to take my meals, I insist up being seated facing the outside plate glass towards the street. It’s largely an irrational worry, but I know now how easy it is to be observed without knowing it. In five years, I’ve defied the odds. Though I’ve had some close calls, especially early on, I haven’t gotten caught yet.

I feel like a sniper, completely concealed from view, in control of my own destiny. I have my orders, but I know that orders alone are insufficient. Orders are tersely-worded directives, but the real work begins when I locate the target. I wouldn’t want my tasks to be too highly structured. That would be too much like conventional employment. I’ve made a name for myself through my efficiency and a willingness to take chances. Subscribers know me by a handle I’ve established for myself and they express their appreciation in the comment section on a consistent basis.

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