An Update

All Quiet on the Western Front, so far.

I wanted to check in with all of you. I would have checked in sooner, but my primary computer was hacked into and the hard drive was effectively ruined, forcing me to take it to a store to get it restored.

Since I have come down from my manic state, I understand again how many of my comments made in times past on this blog and IRL could seem irrational, pandering for attention, suspect in veracity, proclaiming a less-than-secret ulterior motive, or merely a distraction from more important matter.

But the truth of the matter is this.

I am a sick person. I have bipolar and I have been in a manic state now for about a month. Those who have already admitted to having such things who dwell on this site know full well the powerful highs and the crashing lows. My bipolar is in a mixed state at the moment. Sometimes I feel powerful and in control, and sometimes, the course of the same day, I am thrown into crying fits so profound that all I can do is sob and weep.

I will not know until Wednesday my condition. I pray it is not HIV or Cancer, although of those two, colon/rectal cancer seems the most likely candidate. This may merely be an outbreak of HPV, which is, as many know, exaserbated by stress. Outbreaks flare up for a month, then subside. Medications can be taken to control it, but in a stressful time, a person is more contagious and thus outbreaks occur.

My life, as I'm sure you understand, has been rather stressful recently.

So I admit to being still very much on pins and needles.

It is possible I have none of the three illnesses mentioned, but I will continue to hope and pray for the best.

I thank you all for your concern and do know you are loved.