Revamped for the Current Day

The Think-I'm-Fixin'-To-Die-Rag (2003 Edition)

Well, come on all of you big strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again
Got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Afganistan

Put down your books
And pick up a gun
We're gonna have a whole lot of fun
And it's one-two-three
What are we fighting for?

Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
The next stop is badly planned
And it's five-six-seven
Open up the pearly gates
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why

WOOPEE! We're all gonna die!

Well, come on Wall Street
Don't be slow
Why, man...this war'll go-go

There's plenty good money to be made
Supplying the army with the tools of the trade
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb
They don't drop it on an innocent pawn

And it's one-two-three
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
The next stop is Afganistan

And it's five-six-seven
Open up the pearly gates
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why

WOOPEE! We're all gonna die!

Well, come on generals
Let's move fast
Your big chance is here at last

Now you can go out and get those heads
'Cause the only good Muslim
Is one that's dead

And you know that peace
Can only be won
If we blow 'em all to kingdom come

One-Two-Three
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me I don't give a damn
The next stop could be Iran

And it's five-six-seven
Open up the pearly gates
Well, there ain't not time to wonder why

WOOPEE! We're all gonna die!

Well, come on mothers throughout the land
Pack your boys off to Iraq and 'Stan
C'mon, fathers, don't hesitate
Send your sons off before it's too late

Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box!

One-two-three
What are we fighting for
Don't ask me I don't give a damn
The next stop's Afganistan

And it's five-six-seven
Open up the pearly gates

Well, there ain't no time to wonder why

WOOPEE! We're all gonna die!