overcompensating

I.

it's a common reaction
my very own mother
does the same thing
round Christmas-time

in love with the romantic
ideal wrought from
Norman Rockwell
Currier and Ives

the reality
was much more prosaic

and
we both celebrated
Christmas for the children

(they would have
complained otherwise)

the justification
of many a parent


II.

i'll never forget
keeping an eye
on the children

skating that week
before Christmas

terrified of
not performing
this role i had
not rehearsed

this wise
god-like
authority figure

my arms
crossed round

observing social
interaction

commenting
social small talk

a role i felt
as though i'd grown into
somehow

and you said
i was like her
at that age.

her
the outgoing
peace loving
glue holding together

a gang of youngsters

so i saw them

fulfilling some fantasy
I never was privy to

and for a moment
I wished I were that age again

III.

though
that age was not
pleasant in reality

my acne-scarred
cheeks
and introversion

had a blonde reached
for me then

would i have
chased her across
the ice rink

blaring seasons greetings?

likely not

IV.

in reality
my dearest one

i did love you

enough that i
chased you through
unsmooth patches
jagged rips in the surface

overcompensating