Alpha

Foolishly
milked the system yet again

not smart
guilt
shame
job security


I heard the voice of
my conscience and my father
simultaneously

So we made hasty late night plans
Plans not so hasty once we
recognized what we had been
feeling for each other.

Platonic for an instant more
I strummed my lyrical lute
While you applied varnish
to some commercial artwork

(I must admit I loathed it
Found it some sort of vulgar
accessory and far beneath your talents)

You sat cross-legged on the floor
And I sang and played

The red sofa
threadbare but loved

I would later
lay nude across
for some hasty sketch

in pencil and hesitation and self-doubt

later it would become
what we believed
our marital bed

the first instance of
personal mythology

but that was later
much later

You were tense
Bad day in general
The monthly curse

So I,
with half-concealed
ulterior motive

intended to seduce you
little did I know my task
akin to shooting fish in a barrel

My path already paved
begging to be ridden

a Thursday drive
of pleasure-seeking
and carnal impulse

-5 March 2007