This Newsweek synopsis, an insider's view of the 2008 campaign is a fascinating read, if you haven't done so already.
A kind of survival-of-the-fittest ethos permeates this extended explanation for why Obama won, McCain lost, and Hillary Clinton didn't become the Democratic nominee. In short, Obama surrounded himself with the best people and didn't fall prey to ego wars, pettiness, unnecessary expenses, and counter-productive backbiting. Reading it makes me even more glad that neither McCain nor Clinton became President, because if they didn't have the judgment necessary to run their own campaigns, what makes anyone think they could have run the country?
The idea of a Hillary Clinton or John McCain administration was a frightening concept to me, which I why I cast my votes both in the primary and in the general election for neither of them. Personal favoritism aside, having either of them as President would be a grave disservice to all Americans. As painted by this expose, Obama is not perfect, but he is certainly more competent then others with whom we might have been otherwise saddled. W proved how base incompetence can doom us all. I feel much more hopeful today.
*I'm also reminded of how often we elect slightly geeky loners to high elective office in this land. If I didn't have such a rotten medical history I'd have at least tried to get involved in politics as a candidate for some position.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
And In the End
The McCain campaign never quite congealed. In that respect, it was not much different from Bob Dole's unsuccessful run in 1996. In an election toxic to Republicans, the Arizona senator ran a perplexing, largely impotent, scattershot race which resembled nothing less than a game of drunken darts. Conspiracy theorists are already proclaiming that McCain ran a bad race on purpose. While I normally don't give far-out perspectives like this the time of day, this line of logic does almost sound plausible. It's almost inconceivable that any candidate could run such an awful campaign, though he is not alone in that regard.
The strongest candidate in a weak slate of GOP contenders, McCain was one of the few Republicans seeking the office that passed the sniff test. Guiliani never appeared enough of an authentic conservative to suit the brand. The same was true for Romney. Fred Thompson ran a lackluster campaign and quickly faded. Huckabee's charisma and religious right platform ran well with the conservative base, but he was too far to the right to be much of a serious threat. Yet, what is perhaps the deepest enigma is in observing how the perception of a moderate, even borderline liberal John McCain of 2000 was superseded entirely by that of a McCain/Bush hybrid---a charge that McCain quixotically didn't refute until the very end.
As for me, I was out until a reasonably late hour, late enough to see Ohio and Pennsylvania called for Obama. Washingtonians temporarily broke their unwritten rule and spoke excitedly to one another while in the metro station. According to established protocol, almost anyone who speaks to you on the subway car is either a panhandler or a stalker. In that respect, the attitude is no different than any other city--social paranoia reigns supreme. Still, at least for a night the residents of the capital city shelved their worries for a night. DC is an overwhelmingly Democratic area and I must say it is nice to be part of the majority instead of the frustrated loyal opposition. It was a great night to be a Democrat and it's certainly been a long time coming.
Back home, McCain won handily as expected, but what was encouraging came in observing the counties of the state which went blue. In 2004, only five Alabama counties went blue. Now, in 2008, thirteen counties went blue. Whether that indicates some larger trend or merely a testament to Obama's popularity and charisma, I know not. Most were in areas with sizable African-American populations, but even so, it's a net pickup. But at any rate, people will be speculating and postulating about this election cycle for a long time to come.
The strongest candidate in a weak slate of GOP contenders, McCain was one of the few Republicans seeking the office that passed the sniff test. Guiliani never appeared enough of an authentic conservative to suit the brand. The same was true for Romney. Fred Thompson ran a lackluster campaign and quickly faded. Huckabee's charisma and religious right platform ran well with the conservative base, but he was too far to the right to be much of a serious threat. Yet, what is perhaps the deepest enigma is in observing how the perception of a moderate, even borderline liberal John McCain of 2000 was superseded entirely by that of a McCain/Bush hybrid---a charge that McCain quixotically didn't refute until the very end.
As for me, I was out until a reasonably late hour, late enough to see Ohio and Pennsylvania called for Obama. Washingtonians temporarily broke their unwritten rule and spoke excitedly to one another while in the metro station. According to established protocol, almost anyone who speaks to you on the subway car is either a panhandler or a stalker. In that respect, the attitude is no different than any other city--social paranoia reigns supreme. Still, at least for a night the residents of the capital city shelved their worries for a night. DC is an overwhelmingly Democratic area and I must say it is nice to be part of the majority instead of the frustrated loyal opposition. It was a great night to be a Democrat and it's certainly been a long time coming.
Back home, McCain won handily as expected, but what was encouraging came in observing the counties of the state which went blue. In 2004, only five Alabama counties went blue. Now, in 2008, thirteen counties went blue. Whether that indicates some larger trend or merely a testament to Obama's popularity and charisma, I know not. Most were in areas with sizable African-American populations, but even so, it's a net pickup. But at any rate, people will be speculating and postulating about this election cycle for a long time to come.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Election Day
I'm actually writing this post late on Monday evening, since I will be out and about most of Election Day getting a feel for the crowds on this hugely historical day and in the process attempting to gauge the mood of the people. More about that Wednesday. I'm sure by the time most of you will be reading this that the first batch of exit polling has come out, signifying conclusively a large Obama victory. A guy can dream, huh?
For those who requested a lengthy update about my progress at NIHM, here it is. Mondays mornings every patient on the unit goes through "rounds". Rounds mean that, with the entire staff present, one is asked a series of questions by doctors, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, student trainees, and nurses on the unit. As you walk in you notice that the entire room is packed with twenty-five people filling every seat at long table that looks like something you'd see in a corporate boardroom. As you enter, you choke back anxiety while gazing at the expectant looks of many people. Nervously walking into the room and taking a seat at one end of a huge table, it almost seems as though you're addressing a large media gathering at a well-attended press conference.
But unlike press conferences, the staff asks you the same series of questions every week and as you answer, everyone nods up and down to signify that you are, in fact, being heard. Several attendees gaze at you with rapt attention and occasionally jot down some of what you are saying. How is your depression? What are you seeking from treatment? Has your condition improved or worsened? Do you believe you are becoming manic? What are your goals while on the unit?
In rounds, they rarely tell you much of substance. It appears that I will stay on Lithium but be tapered down slowly off of Seroquel. This is a little concerning since I developed insomnia a couple years back and can't manage to sleep without a sedating medication in the evening. Seroquel is that drug. Without it, I'll have to condition my body to go to sleep more or less naturally. This likely means that I will be a zombie for a week until I get exhausted enough to fall asleep without meds. I foresee a solid week of two or three hours a night and although that prospect stresses me out, I've done this so many times before I'm almost used to it.
As for the medication on which I will be tried, I still don't know yet. That will be determined later. Since this is a research setting, everything happens very slowly. Meds are tapered down slowly, drugs are introduced slowly, protocols develop slowly.
Every week brings a new set of concerns and now it appears as though they want to make sure I won't become manic if the Seroquel is withdrawn. I assured them that mania is a state that happens only when taking an antidepressant and as such, they have nothing to worry about.
For those who requested a lengthy update about my progress at NIHM, here it is. Mondays mornings every patient on the unit goes through "rounds". Rounds mean that, with the entire staff present, one is asked a series of questions by doctors, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, student trainees, and nurses on the unit. As you walk in you notice that the entire room is packed with twenty-five people filling every seat at long table that looks like something you'd see in a corporate boardroom. As you enter, you choke back anxiety while gazing at the expectant looks of many people. Nervously walking into the room and taking a seat at one end of a huge table, it almost seems as though you're addressing a large media gathering at a well-attended press conference.
But unlike press conferences, the staff asks you the same series of questions every week and as you answer, everyone nods up and down to signify that you are, in fact, being heard. Several attendees gaze at you with rapt attention and occasionally jot down some of what you are saying. How is your depression? What are you seeking from treatment? Has your condition improved or worsened? Do you believe you are becoming manic? What are your goals while on the unit?
In rounds, they rarely tell you much of substance. It appears that I will stay on Lithium but be tapered down slowly off of Seroquel. This is a little concerning since I developed insomnia a couple years back and can't manage to sleep without a sedating medication in the evening. Seroquel is that drug. Without it, I'll have to condition my body to go to sleep more or less naturally. This likely means that I will be a zombie for a week until I get exhausted enough to fall asleep without meds. I foresee a solid week of two or three hours a night and although that prospect stresses me out, I've done this so many times before I'm almost used to it.
As for the medication on which I will be tried, I still don't know yet. That will be determined later. Since this is a research setting, everything happens very slowly. Meds are tapered down slowly, drugs are introduced slowly, protocols develop slowly.
Every week brings a new set of concerns and now it appears as though they want to make sure I won't become manic if the Seroquel is withdrawn. I assured them that mania is a state that happens only when taking an antidepressant and as such, they have nothing to worry about.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Last Day
Though I have been in DC now (technically Bethesda, MD) for two weeks, I've still been monitoring the news from back home via the internet.
So it was that this article jumped out at me this morning. It confirms three major things.
a) Voter turnout will be the highest ever on record in Alabama, many of the new voters going out to the polls utterly enthused and thoroughly motivated by Obama's inclusion on the ballot.
b) Alabama is a greying state which retains few of its young adults. I recognize that fact ever more keenly since I've been up here. DC, by great contrast, is full of people my own age from all over the country, if not the world. I can see now why many people leave Alabama after high school or college, never to return. There is so much more to see and do, and much more opportunity in the north.
c) Though John McCain will easily win Alabama, his margin of victory will be significantly less than it would be for a GOP standard-bearer in previous elections. It will be interesting to see if this signifies a long term trend or is merely a result of the novel, unique, once-in-a-generation nature of Obama's campaign. If African-American turnout is 90% or higher, the gap would be narrowed considerably, since the state's population is a little less than 1/3 black.
______________
I just wish that we'd see this degree of voter interest and participation more often. Back home, those who cast their ballots tomorrow will likely have to wait for thirty to forty minutes to get the ability. I've waited in line that long before and I have to say it never annoys me. This is because I believe voting to be a civic responsibility. We have so much in this country, and we live in a land ridiculously wealthy and blessed with excess compared to most other nations in the world. The least we can do is bother to show up at polling places and select our latest slate of representatives.
So it was that this article jumped out at me this morning. It confirms three major things.
a) Voter turnout will be the highest ever on record in Alabama, many of the new voters going out to the polls utterly enthused and thoroughly motivated by Obama's inclusion on the ballot.
b) Alabama is a greying state which retains few of its young adults. I recognize that fact ever more keenly since I've been up here. DC, by great contrast, is full of people my own age from all over the country, if not the world. I can see now why many people leave Alabama after high school or college, never to return. There is so much more to see and do, and much more opportunity in the north.
c) Though John McCain will easily win Alabama, his margin of victory will be significantly less than it would be for a GOP standard-bearer in previous elections. It will be interesting to see if this signifies a long term trend or is merely a result of the novel, unique, once-in-a-generation nature of Obama's campaign. If African-American turnout is 90% or higher, the gap would be narrowed considerably, since the state's population is a little less than 1/3 black.
______________
I just wish that we'd see this degree of voter interest and participation more often. Back home, those who cast their ballots tomorrow will likely have to wait for thirty to forty minutes to get the ability. I've waited in line that long before and I have to say it never annoys me. This is because I believe voting to be a civic responsibility. We have so much in this country, and we live in a land ridiculously wealthy and blessed with excess compared to most other nations in the world. The least we can do is bother to show up at polling places and select our latest slate of representatives.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
The Past Is Never Dead. It's Not Even Past.
There was a time when the past was seen as hopelessly old-fashioned, even bordering on barbaric. This was certainly the predominant view of the Founding Fathers as they fashioned this famous experiment in Democracy. A visit to the Jefferson Memorial reveals that notable excerpts of the Virginia lawmaker's voluminous written correspondence are carved into the sides of the stone rotunda which encircles a statue of the man himself. One such passage mentions this very view. With the turn of the last century, a pessimistic, modernist view now holds sway, intimating that the future promises only continued societal decay and not only that, the times which came before us hold a kind of purity of which we are wholly devoid today and unlikely to experience ever again.
As we are two days away from selecting our next President, I decided I'd give some contrast to this contest and one held a little over 200 year ago: The Election of 1800. Though this time around we have slogged through a protracted primary season, endured nearly thirty separate debates, contemplated the weight of pledged delegates versus superdelegates, and wrung our hands over the results of the battleground states, the results of 2008 will be nothing like the election of 1800. Or at least, we hope not.
And for that, count your blessings. Much is made in this day and age about how power is denied to the people in the unfair process of voting. Though changes are still needed, in two hundred years, significant reforms have been pushed through in an effort to give the electorate a greater say over who will win the highest office in the land. In earlier years, this was not the case at all. In 1800, the Electoral College was comprised of powerful state representatives who selected the President in a convoluted system which produced frequently confounding results. Each state maintained its own system of selecting electors, meaning that uniformity from state to state was a rose-colored dream. Imagine an extended election season from April until October. Such was the nature of Presidential elections at the beginning of the American Experiment. State legislatures dictated who would be selected as electors and whichever party controlled the legislature dictated the political leanings of those who would cast ballots to select both the President and the Vice-President.
Both Thomas Jefferson and his running mate Aaron Burr found themselves tied in the Electoral College at 73 votes apiece, throwing the election to the House of Representatives, which after some extremely shameless electioneering and behind-the-scenes maneuvering eventually proclaimed Jefferson the Third President of the United States. Though many electors feared Jefferson's perceived radicalism and progressive religious views, they mistrusted Burr more.
The Founders, in the naive optimism, never believed that more than one party would exist. They deliberately made no mention of party and partisanship in the Constitution, believing that partisan rancor would obstruct the process and get in the way of proper government. Still, division existed almost instantaneously within the country, going as far back as the struggle between the Federalists, who advocated strongly for the passage of the Constitution, and the Anti-Federalists, who feared that the document would establish too strong a central government. Though Washington feigned not to favor one party or the other, he was a committed Federalist and governed as such. Within the four years of Washington's first term, the country became a de facto two party state. Fundamental differences between the Federalist party of Alexander Hamilton, John Adams, and George Washington and the Democratic-Republican party of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Aaron Burr arose and would shape the country for the next twenty years.
Partisan sentiment is so omnipresent these days, one would be called a fool if he or she proposed that different parties ought not exist. Yet, that was the hope of those who put this country in place.
I pause also to note how we seem to also have gone full circle in more ways than one. With the rise of cable networks and the internet, less and less emphasis is placed upon even the mildest pretense of impartiality in the media. In the early days of the Republic, non-partisan media sources did not exist at all. Most newspapers supported the Federalist cause, though a highly vocal minority of Republican papers advanced the agenda of Jefferson and the Democratic-Republicans. Now we seem to increasingly be going back to the way we were then.
The salvation of this country has been its willingness to undertake willingly the reforms necessary for our survival. I hope whomever wins on Tuesday will continue that tradition.
As we are two days away from selecting our next President, I decided I'd give some contrast to this contest and one held a little over 200 year ago: The Election of 1800. Though this time around we have slogged through a protracted primary season, endured nearly thirty separate debates, contemplated the weight of pledged delegates versus superdelegates, and wrung our hands over the results of the battleground states, the results of 2008 will be nothing like the election of 1800. Or at least, we hope not.
And for that, count your blessings. Much is made in this day and age about how power is denied to the people in the unfair process of voting. Though changes are still needed, in two hundred years, significant reforms have been pushed through in an effort to give the electorate a greater say over who will win the highest office in the land. In earlier years, this was not the case at all. In 1800, the Electoral College was comprised of powerful state representatives who selected the President in a convoluted system which produced frequently confounding results. Each state maintained its own system of selecting electors, meaning that uniformity from state to state was a rose-colored dream. Imagine an extended election season from April until October. Such was the nature of Presidential elections at the beginning of the American Experiment. State legislatures dictated who would be selected as electors and whichever party controlled the legislature dictated the political leanings of those who would cast ballots to select both the President and the Vice-President.
Both Thomas Jefferson and his running mate Aaron Burr found themselves tied in the Electoral College at 73 votes apiece, throwing the election to the House of Representatives, which after some extremely shameless electioneering and behind-the-scenes maneuvering eventually proclaimed Jefferson the Third President of the United States. Though many electors feared Jefferson's perceived radicalism and progressive religious views, they mistrusted Burr more.
The Founders, in the naive optimism, never believed that more than one party would exist. They deliberately made no mention of party and partisanship in the Constitution, believing that partisan rancor would obstruct the process and get in the way of proper government. Still, division existed almost instantaneously within the country, going as far back as the struggle between the Federalists, who advocated strongly for the passage of the Constitution, and the Anti-Federalists, who feared that the document would establish too strong a central government. Though Washington feigned not to favor one party or the other, he was a committed Federalist and governed as such. Within the four years of Washington's first term, the country became a de facto two party state. Fundamental differences between the Federalist party of Alexander Hamilton, John Adams, and George Washington and the Democratic-Republican party of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Aaron Burr arose and would shape the country for the next twenty years.
Partisan sentiment is so omnipresent these days, one would be called a fool if he or she proposed that different parties ought not exist. Yet, that was the hope of those who put this country in place.
I pause also to note how we seem to also have gone full circle in more ways than one. With the rise of cable networks and the internet, less and less emphasis is placed upon even the mildest pretense of impartiality in the media. In the early days of the Republic, non-partisan media sources did not exist at all. Most newspapers supported the Federalist cause, though a highly vocal minority of Republican papers advanced the agenda of Jefferson and the Democratic-Republicans. Now we seem to increasingly be going back to the way we were then.
The salvation of this country has been its willingness to undertake willingly the reforms necessary for our survival. I hope whomever wins on Tuesday will continue that tradition.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Saturday Video
Though mostly forgotten now, Space were for a time a modestly successful mid to late 90's indie rock group, even scoring some notice in underground and college radio circles in the U.S. in the process. The Liverpool based group made their name by their inventive arrangements, a dark sense of comedy, and a hard-to-classify overall sound which pulled as much from 60's and 70's rock as it did from dance pop and movie soundtracks. In the midst of the Britpop wars between Oasis and Blur, groups like Space got submerged underneath the din.
After two albums which charted high in the U.K. album charts, Space were never a substantial success again, eventually breaking up in 2005.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Oh, How This Resonates with Me
Looking back, in an effort to see myself as I was in those days, I am afraid I was not a very friendly or agreeable young man. I was carrying a chip on my shoulder and daring the whole world to knock it off. And the reason I so often took a high tone with people who, it seemed to me, doubted my ability to do the thing I wanted to do, was that, inwardly, I was by no means sure I could do it myself. It was a form of whistling to keep one's courage up.
Inside, I was full of the disdainful scorn of the small and precious snob.
I had not yet learned that one cannot really be superior without humility and tolerance and human understanding.- Thomas Wolfe.
Inside, I was full of the disdainful scorn of the small and precious snob.
I had not yet learned that one cannot really be superior without humility and tolerance and human understanding.- Thomas Wolfe.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
And The Seventh Brings Return
I've got a lot to do today, so I don't have the time to write a detailed entry. I'll try to get to other peoples' blogs later on if I can.
At this late stage in the Presidential race, this song and these lyrics seem apt.
All movement is accomplished in six stages
And the seventh brings return.
The seven is the number of the young light
It forms when darkness is increased by one.
Change returns success
Going and coming without error.
Action brings good fortune.
Sunset.
The time is with the month of winter solstice
When the change is due to come
Thunder in the Earth, the course of heaven
Things cannot be destroyed once and for all
Change returns success
Going and coming without error
Action brings good fortune Sunset
Sunrise
All movement is accomplished in six stages
And the seventh brings return
The seven is the number of the young light
It forms when darkness is increased by one
Change returns success
Going and coming without error
Action brings good fortune
Sunset
Sunrise.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Awkward!
In which I share an anecdote with all of you.
Being approached by a woman who barely speaks English who could have been hitting on me, speaking a few words between us that never hit their stride, resolving that we had absolutely no shred of commonality between us whatsoever, then having her flee in an opposite direction.
I was mortified. Already keyed up and socially anxious after having moments before threaded my way through the subway system of an unfamiliar city, I was caught aback when she introduced herself.
Her behavior was a combination of bizarre, socially awkward, intrusive, and rude. Being approached randomly by a woman hardly ever happens to me. I'm usually the one who initiates contact in that situation and now I hope to God I've never put some poor girl on the spot by acting in kind. The she in question was a slightly mousy looking Indian girl who spoke to me on the shuttle bus over to the building where I am typing this to you now.
She smiled and said hello. My first thought was do I know you?
I smiled in reply and she smiled back at me. Her English was adequate but I noticed she talked like one who has memorized a few pertinent phrases, knows how to use them to suit her purpose, but doesn't know much more than that. Certainly speaking off the cuff is not her forte.
What was the strangest thing is that the conversation never hit its stride. Conversation requires two people to have a mutual understanding of what was said before and then to add to it. Once the process stops, conversations ceases.
She asked.
Where do you work here?
I don't. I'm here for a study. (Please don't ask anything else!)
What study? (Oh, Christ, how am I going to phrase this? She's looking and me and responding so weirdly. Perhaps the truth would be best?)
Well (looks around nervously) I have an anxiety disorder. (Oh Christ, I bet she thinks I'm insane).
Taking control of the questioning this time, I ask,
Where do you work?
I work in the ER.
I bet that can be a very challenging occupation.
She breaks eye contact and looks as though she would very much like me as far away from her as humanely possible.
I'm going to walk over in this direction now (heads towards a recently closed coffee stand).
It took me two hours to decompress from this.
Being approached by a woman who barely speaks English who could have been hitting on me, speaking a few words between us that never hit their stride, resolving that we had absolutely no shred of commonality between us whatsoever, then having her flee in an opposite direction.
I was mortified. Already keyed up and socially anxious after having moments before threaded my way through the subway system of an unfamiliar city, I was caught aback when she introduced herself.
Her behavior was a combination of bizarre, socially awkward, intrusive, and rude. Being approached randomly by a woman hardly ever happens to me. I'm usually the one who initiates contact in that situation and now I hope to God I've never put some poor girl on the spot by acting in kind. The she in question was a slightly mousy looking Indian girl who spoke to me on the shuttle bus over to the building where I am typing this to you now.
She smiled and said hello. My first thought was do I know you?
I smiled in reply and she smiled back at me. Her English was adequate but I noticed she talked like one who has memorized a few pertinent phrases, knows how to use them to suit her purpose, but doesn't know much more than that. Certainly speaking off the cuff is not her forte.
What was the strangest thing is that the conversation never hit its stride. Conversation requires two people to have a mutual understanding of what was said before and then to add to it. Once the process stops, conversations ceases.
She asked.
Where do you work here?
I don't. I'm here for a study. (Please don't ask anything else!)
What study? (Oh, Christ, how am I going to phrase this? She's looking and me and responding so weirdly. Perhaps the truth would be best?)
Well (looks around nervously) I have an anxiety disorder. (Oh Christ, I bet she thinks I'm insane).
Taking control of the questioning this time, I ask,
Where do you work?
I work in the ER.
I bet that can be a very challenging occupation.
She breaks eye contact and looks as though she would very much like me as far away from her as humanely possible.
I'm going to walk over in this direction now (heads towards a recently closed coffee stand).
It took me two hours to decompress from this.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Pause That Refreshes
I had every intention of visiting the National Gallery of Art today, but I'll have to cut my trip back by a couple hours. They're conducting an extensive psychiatric history called the SKID, in order to determine what medication study I will be best suited. The woman who will give the test is on her way and I'm preparing myself to rehash all the gruesome details of my illness one more time. I must have explained the nature of my affliction three times already, but no matter.
I spoke with a doctor today who had a few reservations about my participation in the study. Most of the concerns focused on the fact that many of the studies would require me to come off medication altogether. I have developed insomnia over the past three years and as such I take meds that allow me the ability to get a good night's sleep. Taken completely off of them, sleep would be difficult. I'm willing to run the risk though, even if I don't sleep much for several days in a row. Eventually my body will train itself to sleep naturally, though I must admit that it will be rather painful to adjust at first.
My blogging time is short today, so please pardon. For right now, visiting other sites is going to be a two to three times a week only thing.
I spoke with a doctor today who had a few reservations about my participation in the study. Most of the concerns focused on the fact that many of the studies would require me to come off medication altogether. I have developed insomnia over the past three years and as such I take meds that allow me the ability to get a good night's sleep. Taken completely off of them, sleep would be difficult. I'm willing to run the risk though, even if I don't sleep much for several days in a row. Eventually my body will train itself to sleep naturally, though I must admit that it will be rather painful to adjust at first.
My blogging time is short today, so please pardon. For right now, visiting other sites is going to be a two to three times a week only thing.
Monday, October 27, 2008
If Obama Wins, Then What?
Unlike many lefty bloggers, I jumped on board the Obama train almost from the beginning. I was swayed by his intellect, his ability to give a spine-tingling speech, and furthermore I thought him to be the only candidate strong enough to defeat Hillary Clinton. I knew most of the candidates were too weak to win across-the-board support and Obama's moderate stances would appeal more to the voting public than the unabashedly left-leaning candidates. For the first time in my voting career, I was proven right.
Today, I feel like reflecting back upon this exhaustive campaign cycle in an effort to note where we've been.
Obama securing the Democratic nomination for President didn't seem likely for a while, I must admit. I volunteered for his campaign in the summer of last year, back when the Junior Senator from Illinois was still relatively unknown and thought by most to be an afterthought to the Clinton Restoration. I was assigned to be crowd control, instructing people to line up properly and then escort them into the Atlanta Convention Center, where they would stand to observe a procession of speakers and celebrities, eventually culminating with the main attraction. Though Barack Obama had recently received the endorsement of Oprah Winfrey, from the Senator's body language, it was evident that he wasn't particularly encouraged by showing as a distant, but respectable second place.
After the singer Usher, an Atlanta native, was finished talking and the smitten screams of women had subsided, Obama stood up to speak. The backdrop was a series of large American flags, hanging vertically towards the stage. Obama came on to a round of thunderous applause and gave an excellent speech. After it had subsided and the crowds had headed out, he shook hands with all of us volunteers. Handlers pushed him quickly from person to person and he only lingered a few seconds with each of us. In trying to leave the building, Obama found himself corned in a dead end at the back of the room, a room without an exit, and he made a few caustic, sarcastic comments towards his staff in response. Perhaps he was just tired. Perhaps he doubted that this, his first run for the Highest Office in the Land, would accomplish much of anything besides padding his nest for subsequent runs.
In those days, much of the liberal blogosphere was united behind Dennis Kucinich. I agreed with most of Kucinich's After the first few caucuses and primaries, some peoples' allegiance shifted to John Edwards. Many feared that if nominated, and then elected, Obama would govern from the center-right, neglecting the base in the process. These fears came to the forefront again a few months later when it was widely perceived that Obama was drifting to the right in an effort to combat his characterization as a far-left liberal. But, as a fellow blogger has pointed out, the contrast with the largely dysfunctional McCain campaign has allowed Obama to spread his wings and espouse a more liberal philosophy. Whether this stance will be adopted by Obama if he wins the right to take the Oath of Office remains to be seen.
Today, I feel like reflecting back upon this exhaustive campaign cycle in an effort to note where we've been.
Obama securing the Democratic nomination for President didn't seem likely for a while, I must admit. I volunteered for his campaign in the summer of last year, back when the Junior Senator from Illinois was still relatively unknown and thought by most to be an afterthought to the Clinton Restoration. I was assigned to be crowd control, instructing people to line up properly and then escort them into the Atlanta Convention Center, where they would stand to observe a procession of speakers and celebrities, eventually culminating with the main attraction. Though Barack Obama had recently received the endorsement of Oprah Winfrey, from the Senator's body language, it was evident that he wasn't particularly encouraged by showing as a distant, but respectable second place.
After the singer Usher, an Atlanta native, was finished talking and the smitten screams of women had subsided, Obama stood up to speak. The backdrop was a series of large American flags, hanging vertically towards the stage. Obama came on to a round of thunderous applause and gave an excellent speech. After it had subsided and the crowds had headed out, he shook hands with all of us volunteers. Handlers pushed him quickly from person to person and he only lingered a few seconds with each of us. In trying to leave the building, Obama found himself corned in a dead end at the back of the room, a room without an exit, and he made a few caustic, sarcastic comments towards his staff in response. Perhaps he was just tired. Perhaps he doubted that this, his first run for the Highest Office in the Land, would accomplish much of anything besides padding his nest for subsequent runs.
In those days, much of the liberal blogosphere was united behind Dennis Kucinich. I agreed with most of Kucinich's After the first few caucuses and primaries, some peoples' allegiance shifted to John Edwards. Many feared that if nominated, and then elected, Obama would govern from the center-right, neglecting the base in the process. These fears came to the forefront again a few months later when it was widely perceived that Obama was drifting to the right in an effort to combat his characterization as a far-left liberal. But, as a fellow blogger has pointed out, the contrast with the largely dysfunctional McCain campaign has allowed Obama to spread his wings and espouse a more liberal philosophy. Whether this stance will be adopted by Obama if he wins the right to take the Oath of Office remains to be seen.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A Word of Thanks
Thanks to all those who have left encouraging comments and wished me a happy birthday. I really do have the best readers in the world. I think I'll have some time this week to check out just about everyone's blog. It takes, as I'm sure you understand, several days to get used to new surroundings.
To provide you a bit of context, I decided to undergo this treatment about six months ago, immediately after having an awful manic episode. When my head began to clear and I realized how destructive I had been, I knew I needed to make arrangements to ensure that something that bad never happened again. At the moment I'm at the evaluation phase, meaning that they're in the process of determining which medications would be best suited to treat my symptoms. I'll talk about this more in detail when I know more.
And on that note, dinner has arrived. I hope everyone has a good week!
To provide you a bit of context, I decided to undergo this treatment about six months ago, immediately after having an awful manic episode. When my head began to clear and I realized how destructive I had been, I knew I needed to make arrangements to ensure that something that bad never happened again. At the moment I'm at the evaluation phase, meaning that they're in the process of determining which medications would be best suited to treat my symptoms. I'll talk about this more in detail when I know more.
And on that note, dinner has arrived. I hope everyone has a good week!
Movie Review: Breathless
The seminal film of the French New Wave, Breathless is auteur director Jean-Luc Godard's first, and arguably best film. The editing innovations, revolutionary for their time, remain as unique and novel as they were nearly fifty years ago. A particularly clever reliance upon jump cuts, long verboten according to the unofficial rules of film grammar, inserts a few seconds at a time of five to six takes of a particular scene against each other. This device informs the audience that they're watching a movie, not a strict simulation of real life. Yet, paradoxically, much of the face to face interaction between characters is designed to portray an accurate representation of the way people actually talk to each other. Lengthy, verbose takes, the director's trademark, contain a kind of authenticity and spontaneity accomplished by granting both lead actors the ability to improvise. In an often grimly over-serious genre, Breathless is a self-consciously fun film, one that, in typical Godard fashion litters the movie landscape with coy references and inside jokes which movie buffs and the literate alone will notice. Often considered the French director's best work, it is certainly his most accessible and likely the best place from which to start.
Breathless also features an especially creative use of shot composition, which playfully pans past, circles around, and dives by the actors as they perform in front of the camera, making this movie a most entertaining experience. Defying conventions, Godard's characters talk directly into the lens, willfully and quite proudly breaking the fourth wall. The lens itself acts like a fly on the wall, following the behavior of each scene like an unseen bystander. The construction of the film reveals an overall independent spirit that mocks the polished Hollywood pictures of the time and shows that even a relatively modest budget is no handicap to producing excellent art. In these days, independent film has a target audience and is perceived as more artistically pure overall than a major studio feature. In the 1950's and 1960's, however, small budget often meant cheap, inferior, or of low quality and was often relegated to the B feature on the bill. Breathless helped to change that perception. The consummate thinking person's director and director's director, Godard made approximately one high-budget feature film in the course of his entire career and, disliking the meddling manner by which a major studio release is severely micromanaged by the top brass of the major studios, never made another one. Certainly he could have never made Breathless the way he'd wanted in Hollywood--it would have been seen as too radical a work and one not expected to make much money at the box office. Yet, defying the odds, the picture was a major success on its own terms, ushering in the era of experimentation and the overall ethos of the 1960's.
Cinematic eye candy aside, the plot is rather loosely constructed, at times even appearing cartoonish, superficial, and underdeveloped as a result. A bit of an homage to film noir, Breathless discards the elements of a classic noir film, believing that character development and dialogue are more important than a robust series of dramatic events in sequence. Godard was famouskt fond of flaunting convention, and here he judiciously prunes and shrinks the events of the film to their barest essentials. In a conventional Hollywood picture, several minutes of screen time would have been devoted to dote and muse upon an act of violence--- in order to extract the maximum melodramatic value. In Breathless, a dramatic event occurs on screen just long enough to clue the audience into what has transpired, then quickly shifts to another scene altogether. This abruptness also emphasizes the jittery, jerky, on edge feel of the picture, which ostensibly revolves around a police chase to apprehend a murderer. Much of the film is comprised of a series of lengthy takes involving two characters talking to another, frequently making philosophical points and spouting non sequiters. This can at times be trying, since in doing so Godard forces the audience to accept his reality on his own terms; the phenomenon is typically Godard, who with the passage of time became more and more radical and less and less inclined to broaden his audience beyond a few devoted fans.
Breathless is a film that grows upon the viewer and reveals more with each showing. Those interested in what transpired concurrently in the fruitful period of the French New Wave, British New Wave, and far beyond will easily be able to see the film's influence upon the directors of its time and upon many of the directors active now.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saturday Video
Weezer were the Lazarus of the mid 90's alternative scene. After a well-received debut in 1994, they released an almost universally panned second album, Pinkerton, which was famously savaged with a one star review in Rolling Stone. When Pinkerton failed to live up to expectations, Weezer disbanded for four years. With time, however, a fan buzz began to build, which transformed the group from a cult sensation to a resoundingly mainstream success. By the beginning of the 2000's a wholesale reconsideration of the group resulted, one that was both critically and commercially laudatory. Largely due to the widely perceived sorry state of music by the end of the 90's, Weezer was prompted to reform and resume recording in the studio. The later releases, however, are often perceived as not nearly as good as the first two.
"Say It Ain't So" was the third single from the self-titled debut, Weezer, often referred to as "The Blue Album" due to a predominately blue background on the cover. Not nearly as successful as the first single, "Buddy Holly", best known for its music video which clevery utilized digital imagery to simulate the set of the TV show "Happy Days", or the follow-up, "Undone" (The Sweater Song), the song still managed to be a minor hit in the Modern Rock charts. With the passage of time, "Say It Ain't So" became a staple of alternative music radio.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Birthday
On this day, in which I turn aged twenty-eight, I find it appropriate that the financial markets are tanking. Having contemplated momentous events which have occurred in the past on this date, a huge stock market crash seems apt and altogether fitting. I've always had a rush of contradictory feeling on the day of my birth and this year is no exception. I am one year closer to thirty, a milestone I must admit in my younger years I thought I would never live to see. Those who I talk to who are older than me have had encouraging things to say, telling me that thirties are far more comforting times than twenties, which are fraught with confusion and abject selfishness. At twenty-one, I wouldn't have understood what they were saying. Now, closer to the end of the spectrum then the beginning, I see what they mean and hope their advice comes to pass.
Since I've been up here, I haven't wanted to blog much about politics. Right now, with a severe recession in our future and no end in sight to a growing sense of pessimism, I'd rather not contribute my voice. Virginia, which is due south of here is an all important swing state so the television inundates us every few seconds with either an Obama ad or a McCain ad. As the economy continues to worsen and the question becomes not if we are headed to a recession, but how pronounced a recession this will be, I enjoy distancing myself a bit from the political banter on both sides. This has gone on far too long. For the first six months, this Presidential race was exciting and altogether thrilling. Now, it's exhausting. So what I'm going to do instead is enjoy myself as best I can and appreciate a change of scenery.
Since I've been up here, I haven't wanted to blog much about politics. Right now, with a severe recession in our future and no end in sight to a growing sense of pessimism, I'd rather not contribute my voice. Virginia, which is due south of here is an all important swing state so the television inundates us every few seconds with either an Obama ad or a McCain ad. As the economy continues to worsen and the question becomes not if we are headed to a recession, but how pronounced a recession this will be, I enjoy distancing myself a bit from the political banter on both sides. This has gone on far too long. For the first six months, this Presidential race was exciting and altogether thrilling. Now, it's exhausting. So what I'm going to do instead is enjoy myself as best I can and appreciate a change of scenery.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Few Thoughts on Our Nation's Capital
DC is a town that takes itself very seriously. Since I take myself very seriously too, I seem to be an ideal fit. The city is teeming with young professionals, who often take that exact attitude and apply it to ever facet of their own lives. Any place with this many yuppies-in-training is bound to be full of health food stores, hand-knitted shawls, and designer eyeglasses. It's tough to know these days where a hipster begins and a yuppie ends, since they both seem to congregate in large cities where the cost of living is quite high.
Those who prefer a casual, laid back town need apply elsewhere. Washingtonians enjoy dressing up and looking thoroughly fashionable. I'm most struck with how many people my age and a few years younger shun contact lenses for the old-style frames. Geek chic seems to be the default these days. It's an intensely cerebral, intellectual city as well, full of university students and the intelligent-in-general. I fit in here much better than home, making me realize again how extreme the brain drain is in Birmingham. Everyone stays for high school, then leaves for sunnier climes. Some stay for college and then move away and never come back. Seeing how much DC has to offer, I understand even better why.
Those who prefer a casual, laid back town need apply elsewhere. Washingtonians enjoy dressing up and looking thoroughly fashionable. I'm most struck with how many people my age and a few years younger shun contact lenses for the old-style frames. Geek chic seems to be the default these days. It's an intensely cerebral, intellectual city as well, full of university students and the intelligent-in-general. I fit in here much better than home, making me realize again how extreme the brain drain is in Birmingham. Everyone stays for high school, then leaves for sunnier climes. Some stay for college and then move away and never come back. Seeing how much DC has to offer, I understand even better why.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The First of Many Updates.
Eventually as I get used to the daily routine I'll post longer entries. I've been on the ward now upstairs for a few hours and am beginning to adjust to the routine, the daily activities, meal time, medication time, and all of the particulars that they entail. This morning I woke up early, then moved all my stuff out of the Family Lodge. I was shuttled to Building 10 via a small bus, underwent registration, was formally admitted, underwent several tests (an EKG, blood work, in depth interview with a psychiatrist, a chest x-ray), ate lunch, then settled down to read and play guitar for a few hours.
To reiterate what I told someone earlier today, I will be on two medications simultaneously. One is ketamine, known to most as cat tranquilizers and to a league of recreational drug users as Special K. I will receive, by injection, a much smaller dose than is abused and have around thirty minutes or so of feeling a tad strange until the worst effects wear off. Though it might seem strange, ketamine has shown some real promise for treating depression. The second drug is brand new, designed to specifically treat anxiety. I'll be one of the first to try it out. I am in a better mood, for sure. I got stuck in a rut for six months after my last hospitalization and wasn't really doing all that much, since I'm still officially disabled. The realization that I will be here for several months is beginning to make itself clear and I'll be sure to provide more insight and summary of what's gone on as I receive it.
To reiterate what I told someone earlier today, I will be on two medications simultaneously. One is ketamine, known to most as cat tranquilizers and to a league of recreational drug users as Special K. I will receive, by injection, a much smaller dose than is abused and have around thirty minutes or so of feeling a tad strange until the worst effects wear off. Though it might seem strange, ketamine has shown some real promise for treating depression. The second drug is brand new, designed to specifically treat anxiety. I'll be one of the first to try it out. I am in a better mood, for sure. I got stuck in a rut for six months after my last hospitalization and wasn't really doing all that much, since I'm still officially disabled. The realization that I will be here for several months is beginning to make itself clear and I'll be sure to provide more insight and summary of what's gone on as I receive it.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Blogging Hiatus
So many stories to tell, so little time online to tell them.
Suffice to say that I will be hospitalized in-patient here in Washington, DC, for the next four to six months. I'm excited about this, of course. These people feel as though they have something to offer me, and I will be afforded the ability to try out a new drug specifically designed to treat chronic anxiety, something that has always plagued me throughout the course of my life.
More updates later after I get into a rhythm of routine.
One quick aside: DC has more people my age than any other place I've visited before. It's both enthralling and humbling. I'm not nearly as unique as I thought I was. A million clones of myself file past me on my way to catch the Metro train. I'll gladly sacrifice being unusual to being thoroughly understood, any day.
Suffice to say that I will be hospitalized in-patient here in Washington, DC, for the next four to six months. I'm excited about this, of course. These people feel as though they have something to offer me, and I will be afforded the ability to try out a new drug specifically designed to treat chronic anxiety, something that has always plagued me throughout the course of my life.
More updates later after I get into a rhythm of routine.
One quick aside: DC has more people my age than any other place I've visited before. It's both enthralling and humbling. I'm not nearly as unique as I thought I was. A million clones of myself file past me on my way to catch the Metro train. I'll gladly sacrifice being unusual to being thoroughly understood, any day.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Say Au Revior, Not Goodbye
My flight out to DC leaves in a matter of a few hours, and so I'm pausing briefly to let you all know that I'm finally heading out Washington, DC to participate in the medical study. After I finish writing this out to you, I am jumping into the shower, then making sure I've packed everything I need for what could be an extensive stay, one that would keep me away from home until March or April of next year. I'm excited to get away, eager to find better medications to treat my condition, and have always enjoyed traveling, too.
That being said, this blog will likely not be updated again until late this week, likely Thursday, and potentially even a little longer than that. If I am away for several months, I am not sure what the frequency of posting will be. To wit, I've recorded the last performance video for a while. Likely the posts I leave will be short and to the point and I won't be able to leave comments on other peoples' blogs on a daily basis as I've been able to do before. Today this site goes into a kind of semi-hiatus for the first time ever and while it saddens me a little to acknowledge that, I appreciate my regular readers and my fans. Thanks for everything!
That being said, this blog will likely not be updated again until late this week, likely Thursday, and potentially even a little longer than that. If I am away for several months, I am not sure what the frequency of posting will be. To wit, I've recorded the last performance video for a while. Likely the posts I leave will be short and to the point and I won't be able to leave comments on other peoples' blogs on a daily basis as I've been able to do before. Today this site goes into a kind of semi-hiatus for the first time ever and while it saddens me a little to acknowledge that, I appreciate my regular readers and my fans. Thanks for everything!
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