Some people
front-load
their condition in life
The what could have been’s
the almosts
The man who reaches
across to me on the train
needs connection with me
Some people play pretend
paranoia of public transportation
but I listen.
He passed on a way
to dribble the ball
on university nickle.
Many an ex-athlete
shares this story
An alternate life
parallel existence
of almost military discipline.
5 March 2017
Monday, March 06, 2017
Sunday, March 05, 2017
Quote of the Week
By religion I do not mean outward things, but inward states, I mean perfected manhood. I mean the quickening of the soul by the beatific influence of the divine Spirit in truth, and love, and sympathy, and confidence, and trust.-Henry Ward Beecher
Saturday, March 04, 2017
Paintbox
Last night I had too much to drink
Sitting in a club with so many fools
Playing to rules
Trying to impress but feeling rather empty
I had another drink
Drink, a, drink, a, drink, a, drink
What a way to spend that evening
They all turn up with their friends
Playing the game
But in the scene I should have been
Far away
Away, away, away, away, away
Getting up, I feel as if I'm remembering this scene before
I open the door to an empty room
Then I forget
The telephone rings and someone speaks
She would very much like to go out to a show
So what can I do, I can't think what to say
She sees through anyway
Away, away, away, away, away
Out of the front door I go
Traffic's moving rather slow
Arriving late, there she waits
Looking very angry, as cross as she can be
Be, a, be, a, be, a, be, a, be
Getting up, I feel as if I'm remembering this scene before
I open the door to an empty room
Then I forget
Friday, March 03, 2017
Gonna Get Ye All
eight years of
this is only
bigcitylife
electronically
notated
to be preserved
forever
waiting rooms
unmedicated schizophrenics
on public transportation
this is only
bigcitylife
eight years of
extensive documentation
electronically
notated
to be preserved
forever
waiting rooms
blood pressure cuffs
quiet raps upon the door
the legacy I leave behind
at my death
will leave behind me
ample historical record
any biographer who wants
to know me
should know my doctors
first.
3 March 2017
Thursday, March 02, 2017
Scattered
I arrive in confusion
and I leave in confusion.
blessed are
the confused
today I stumbled in
three seconds late
the procession was
five steps from its beginning
two men in lockstep
and liturgical robes
i lost my place
i lost my place
i lost my place
again
outdated editions
create problems
the oldest amongst us
hardly need reminding
repetition is their friend
this foreign language
desperate for my learning
as any immigrant in a strange land
must do for themselves
time for shaking hands
the minister trips slightly
on folding chairs
extending himself to me
There is quiet here
Noiseless reverence
2 March 2017
and I leave in confusion.
blessed are
the confused
today I stumbled in
three seconds late
the procession was
five steps from its beginning
two men in lockstep
and liturgical robes
i lost my place
i lost my place
i lost my place
again
outdated editions
create problems
the oldest amongst us
hardly need reminding
repetition is their friend
this foreign language
desperate for my learning
as any immigrant in a strange land
must do for themselves
time for shaking hands
the minister trips slightly
on folding chairs
extending himself to me
There is quiet here
Noiseless reverence
2 March 2017
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
New Style
Readers,
I didn't post here for about a month and a half. Now I'm trying an experiment. I want to publish working drafts of poems here. You can see for yourself the progression of editing from draft one to the concluding draft. Be part of this exercise in creative expression.
Cathedral
winding my way
through spirals of gray
to embrace a message
that led others to wage wars
militarist language
opens just a crack
in the liturgy
my knees hurt constantly
kneeling on uncomfortable benches
is this part of the penitence?
To be as uncomfortable as possible
while prostrate before the Lord?
what is my purpose in all this
I am clumsy and easily confused
in this labyrinthine space
I ask for a blessing in the end
The rector has no oil
but says a prayer on my behalf
for my health
once a blonde-haired Australian woman
anointed my head with oil
in the sign of the cross
pulling from a small, circular box
that looked a bit like cylindrical chap stick
it was sticky and covered my forehead
I did not wash it for a week.
I have knelt to accept's Christ's sacrifice again
This I did early in life many times,
but without real wine and real bread.
Wafter and grape juice
and songs sung in Sunday School on record players
of biblical heroes
even the Old Testament.
I will return again tomorrow
to wind my way through another
journey through the book of common prayer
more mysteries
more copying of others who
have the system down much better than me
through spirals of gray
to embrace a message
that led others to wage wars
militarist language
opens just a crack
in the liturgy
kneeling on uncomfortable benches
is this part of the penitence?
To be as uncomfortable as possible
while prostrate before the Lord?
what is my purpose in all this
I am clumsy and easily confused
in this labyrinthine space
I ask for a blessing in the end
The rector has no oil
but says a prayer on my behalf
for my health
once a blonde-haired Australian woman
anointed my head with oil
in the sign of the cross
pulling from a small, circular box
that looked a bit like cylindrical chap stick
it was sticky and covered my forehead
I did not wash it for a week.
I have knelt to accept's Christ's sacrifice again
This I did early in life many times,
but without real wine and real bread.
Wafter and grape juice
and songs sung in Sunday School on record players
of biblical heroes
even the Old Testament.
I will return again tomorrow
to wind my way through another
journey through the book of common prayer
more mysteries
more copying of others who
have the system down much better than me
Sticking Together, Glue Like
I meet , daily, at 11 am, with a group of four
Grim, unsmiling people.
one of them, the lead
wears a priest's collar
and I wonder if he's judging me
negatively because I don't attend Mass.
Shades of orange
Their auras, I suppose
wrapped around laptops
I felt like the
chairman of the board
leaning down the table
hands extended
and I didn't like it.
In their capable, authoritarian hands
Much went on behind the scenes.
In the meantime
I get to see what people do in prison
to pass time
I could see the criss-cross cut
of self-harm on one patient
and the girlfriend too young
to understand adult caretaking
At least I was not the couch-stuck posture of
the clinically depressed
I’m tentacled to a hospital staff
Their recommendations determine my fate
And I shuffle impatiently
Waiting for an answer
Bodily, restless
This is medical purgatory.
1 March 2017
Grim, unsmiling people.
one of them, the lead
wears a priest's collar
and I wonder if he's judging me
negatively because I don't attend Mass.
Shades of orange
Their auras, I suppose
wrapped around laptops
I felt like the
chairman of the board
leaning down the table
hands extended
and I didn't like it.
In their capable, authoritarian hands
Much went on behind the scenes.
In the meantime
I get to see what people do in prison
to pass time
I could see the criss-cross cut
of self-harm on one patient
and the girlfriend too young
to understand adult caretaking
At least I was not the couch-stuck posture of
the clinically depressed
I’m tentacled to a hospital staff
Their recommendations determine my fate
And I shuffle impatiently
Waiting for an answer
Bodily, restless
This is medical purgatory.
1 March 2017